


Boys Don't Cry

by lukeyandlou



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, i cant tag, richie has a crush, short rant thing, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 11:26:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20692742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeyandlou/pseuds/lukeyandlou
Summary: Richie has a crush on Eddie, and he decides that he must go and tell him.Or, he tries, at least.





	Boys Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is just a short thing because I felt like writing Reddie before my homework. Based on the song Boys Don't Cry by The Cure, because that song gives me major Richie vibes.

_ Fuck. _

Tucked into his blanket, Richie had his hands intertwined with his hair, feeling sick to his stomach and face paling with realization. 

The realization that he was feeling a way he shouldn’t. A realization that even though he felt it was wrong, it made him feel so damn happy. 

Richie was thirteen. His parents had often asked if he had any girls at school he was interested in, because he learned that that was supposed to be happening to him at this age. He was told he’d start to feel fuzzy in his tummy when he saw her. That he would want to hold her hand, and buy her flowers, anything that would make her smile. 

He tried to laugh it off. He said that cheesy stuff wasn’t for him. He convinced them - his friends, his parents, everyone - that he just wasn’t ready yet. 

But he knew otherwise. He  _ did  _ feel fuzzy, and he did want to hold hands. He felt that way about Eddie. 

Admitting it out loud made him so nervous that he had to pull his hair back a little bit, but at the same time, was so soothing to hear. It was fucking terrifying, feeling like that. But why did he feel so relaxed when he thought of Eddie’s smile? When he thought of Eddie smiling because of him? 

He reached his hand out for his nightstand, putting his glasses back on. It was a little past midnight now, and he had been trying to sleep. But he couldn’t stop thinking of his best friend, in a way that friends weren’t supposed to think. It made him want to cry. 

Sitting up, he grabbed the photostrip sitting by the lamp, slightly stroking it with his thumb. It was from the photo booth at the arcade, when he and Eddie went by himself last month because everyone else was busy. He took a second to gaze at his face, reminiscing how badly he wanted to turn around and kiss him.

_ No.  _ Boys weren’t supposed to kiss boys, right? But how can that be true? How can that be true when the thought of kissing his best friend painted his cheeks red and warmed his chest? His eyes filled with tears. 

He shook his head violently, trying to snap himself out of it. He hadn’t cried in a long time, and that wasn’t going to change now. There was only one thing he can do. 

In his pajamas and all, Richie crawled down out of his bedroom window. Without thinking, he jumped on his bike and rode through the night, pedalling as fast as he could.

Next thing he knew, he was knocking on Eddie’s window. 

“Pst, Eds!” he whispered, knocking on the glass. 

A sleepy Eddie stumbled towards the window, opening the screen. “What the fuck, dude? It’s almost one in the morning!” 

“Uh, I just needed to tell you something.” 

“Hey, were you crying? You okay?” Eddie’s annoyance turned into concern. 

“What, no! I’m fine.” 

“Uh, okay. Then what was so urgent to tell me that it couldn’t wait until morning, huh?”

That was when the fear kicked in. He wanted to tell him that he wanted to hold his hand. That he wanted to kiss him. That he loved him. But he couldn’t do that. Hell, why did he even think he could do that? It would ruin everything. But he had to say  _ something.  _ Something, or he was going to go insane. 

“Just wanted to say you’re cute. Bye!” he said, but made sure his tone sounded mocking, teasing in a way. It was the only way he could say it. Ever. 

_ Laugh it off.  _

“You fucking asshole, go to bed. Don’t come up here so late just to be a dick, you could wake up my mom and it’s over for me. Goodnight,” Eddie said, closing the window. 

Richie jumped down, sitting beside his bike. Reluctantly, he began to walk it, too shaken to ride. 

He couldn’t believe he just did that. He came so close to his confession, a confession that haunted his dreams in the best of ways. But he couldn’t. That was something he had to understand. 

As he walked his bike, he felt two warm tears fall from both of his eyes, his vision blurring and his stomach feeling hollow. He began to cry. 

Eddie thought Richie was teasing. Little did Richie know, Eddie wished he wasn’t. 

_ And he wasn’t. _

Stopping in his tracks, Richie wiped away his tears, putting on a face of determination. He had no time for tears. 

_ Boys don’t cry.  _

When he crawled back into his window that night, he grabbed the photostrip, tucking it under his pillow. 

Maybe he’d tell him, one day. That the plague cursing him every day was something like love. 

But he couldn’t. No, he couldn’t. 

It was time for sleep now, he figured. 


End file.
